Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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