yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Damn victory sex feels great
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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