Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
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