I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
