I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
