it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize