Pregnant stripper...not hot.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
