how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I smell like Dick and happiness
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
