Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Randomize
