I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
