don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
