He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize