I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
