i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Less talking, more tequila
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
