You can't motorboat a personality
he shaved USA in his pubs
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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