NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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