come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
A+ Viking dick
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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