Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize