You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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