But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
