Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
