You work out of a Hotel?
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Randomize
