ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
farters have to be the big spoon...
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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