just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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