I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
