For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize