It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
a search helicopter?!
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
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