OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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