she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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