We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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