Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
