piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
