i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
