Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
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