Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
