so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Small penises have feelings too.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
