A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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