i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I've blown a few things in my day
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
