I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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