Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Please don't give away my fajitas
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
His nipple licking is glorious
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