Where are you?
In a non slutty way
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
