dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
