Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
