The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
