My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize