i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
