did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
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