Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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