You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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