He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
