Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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