on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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