Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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