His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
