she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
