well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
