My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Someone came in the potted fern
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Randomize
