PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
