mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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