I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
