what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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