Who wears a wallet chain?!
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Randomize
