I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
she told me i tasted like america
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize