I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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