This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
