so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
