ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
