Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
