I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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