you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
