I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
