pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Randomize
