Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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