Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
