dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
