no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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