that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
