She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I have tasted many bathrooms
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
