Non-Jews are for practice
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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