I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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