when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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