She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
