So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
